Today I have the pleasure of hosting a guest, Stephanie from over at
Stephsbookretreat She's an avid reader and a wonderful lady. If you have time be sure and cheek out her place! She'd love to hear from everyone.
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Most evenings you can find my husband and I cuddled up on the couch, him watching
Anthony Bourdain No Reservations or Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern; my
husband will have his head in my lap and I will be reading some romance or
romantic suspense novel (paperback usually). If you ever overheard what has
become a joke between us, you would hear, “romance novels are just porn for
women,” come from my husband, then you would see his loving wife glare over her
novel and stop stroking his forehead and hair, lol. I have thought about this
and you know what, I can see where he would think so. In some ways I do see the
similarities, especially when you are comparing it to erotica and to some of
the other harder core novels, yet, I do draw a line. I don’t think they are
created equal.
When I think of pornography, I think of
pictures or DVDs, when I think of erotica and other novels, I think of words
and of having to use one’s imagination. Unlike ‘picture porn’ novels require
the reader to fill in certain blanks and to imagine the scene being described
come to life in their own mind, and not watching it or viewing it.
Maybe it’s just that most women prefer to
read than to view things that get them aroused, yet, if you walk down any isle
in the romance section, you will not find novels that are JUST hardcore people
having sex, etc, most have a well written plot and the sex just adds to the
plot and keeps the plot moving. There are some novels where they are inundated
by sex sex sex, well, you generally know what you are getting when you read
those; it only takes a few moments or reading the synopsis to find out what
sort or novel you are going to get; other times, the sex/romance is almost
secondary to the main plot line.
Growing up, I remember being told by some
female family members and others, that Harlequin novels were ‘unacceptable’ for
a ‘young lady’ to read, because they were full of ‘depravity’ and ‘nothing but
sex;’ as an adult, I can say, from reading experience, that Harlequin novels
are NOT like that, if anything, the ones I have read are great quick reads. I
can read one in an afternoon or a weekend, unlike some other novels where they
are a few hundred pages and mostly part of a series, so the author takes extra
care to fill in newcomers to the series and to still not alienate their
established readers.
Some novels are very steamy, and yes, a
bit more erotic than others, sure they might turn the reader on, yet, I like to
joke with my husband and my girl friends that, ‘I love the men in my novels but
I am in love with my husband.’ Some of the men in the novels are very much
fantasy reads, yet, I know that they are just that, fantasy. I’ve read are I don’t read novels as a way to
get turned on or ‘in the mood’, I read them because they are a way for me to
relax and I enjoy the camaraderie that I get when sharing with other readers
and authors about what I read.
Pornography is usually kept in the
‘backroom’ or ‘behind the counter’ in many places, yet, I have never seen a
romance novel or even a harder core novel hidden in such a way. Maybe it’s
because romance novels are just more generally accepted.
Unlike with pornography, women can share
what we read in an ‘everyday setting’ for the most part. We share novels in
public and even talk about them around our children with not a lot of editing;
not that we get very graphic with our discussions, even when talking about the
‘hottest’ novels or latest erotic novel. A woman can have just about any novel
sitting in her car on the seat or on the coffee table when guests come over
[ok, maybe not your grandparents or pastor], but other than that, if your copy
of the latest best selling romance is sitting out you won’t be embarrassed
about it.
I can think of a few authors that yes,
they do write some very steamy scenes, and of course if it’s a particularly
great book or scene [one particular shower scene pops into mind], we share, we
may even send the excerpt to a girl friend who might enjoy it and appreciate it,
that is just because we love our girl friends so much that we are compelled to
share. That’s what girl friends are for; and for those of us, who have reading
blogs, it’s one of the things we enjoy is sharing with others a great romance
or even a bad one.
Based on what I have shared with girl
friends and what I have heard when we spoke about this, I think it’s the
general consensus that women have a better imagination that is more easily
fostered by words than by images. I can get a better picture of something if
it’s described to me in words than just by seeing a picture of something; my
imagination takes over where the author leaves off and I basically personalize
it to what I can imagine. A [romance] author gives their readers a starting
point and guides them through a world that they have created and into a world
where we can slip away for a while and then return to ‘reality’ the one where
there are dirty dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, preschoolers to be
wrangled and school meetings to attend. For a few minutes we are transported to
a world of Scottish highland warriors, rakish rogues, erotic vampires, and far
away places that we may never get the opportunity to see in our lifetime.
So why not find a comfy chair or draw a
hot bubble bath and lock the door and enjoy a novel on your Kindle/Nook or pull
a paperback out of your purse or off the shelf and enjoy some ‘you’ time,
ladies.
